Wednesday, February 2, 2011

School hell in a hand basket ... for me

I used to love going to school.  I would wake up and be excited 'cause I will be learning something new.  For the first time ever I am so dissatisfied that going to school feels like a chore.

When it comes to work I have this philosophy:  "when I wake up in the morning and all I can think of is I wish the work/school day would end, then it is time to move on".  In other words, when work is no longer fun, then it is time to look for something more challenging or stimulating.

This semester started off wrong for me.  From the time it started in November we either had so many school extra-curricular activities or our classes were in jeopardy because of the student quota required that we are unable to meet.  Consequently, we didn't really learn much ... of anything.

If there is one subject, though, where I feel I learned something it would have to be Statistics.  Luckily, I enjoy math so I am actually enjoying the challenges this subject throws at me.

IMC is a bust.  If not for the fact that the class decided to do a marketing plan as a class project, I don't think our class would have any direction at all.  Since I have the official syllabus from our program chair, Sir Dodi, I know what topics are supposed to be covered but are not.

In Seminar in Communication Management in the Philippines:  Issues and Trends we have had some lectures, but, unfortunately, they were on days when I was not around because of work and then when I DID appear for class, I discovered there was no class on that day.

And then there is the accreditation for MC.  I'm glad the brunt of the work has been moved from my shoulders to that of a full-time faculty member.  As a student (and not an alumna of the university) I found myself at a loss to work on most of the things needed for accreditation.  Thankfully, Sir Dodi assigned the curriculum reformatting and updating to me, which I knew I was capable of accomplishing.  This meant that so long as there was a previous version, I had something to work with.  There are still problems, though.  I still need 6 more syllabi which, I suppose were subjects that were not taught before.  Without assistance from faculty and students who have taken or are taking those subjects, how am I supposed to acquire those syllabi?  Hello, student here, not faculty!  I am hoping, really hoping that the faculty step up and do their parts, too.  Btw, I don't know all the faculty members, either.  Other MC students have also been assigned to different parts of the accreditation requirements.  Hopefully, they are being utilized well as I have opted not to get too involved with it outside of my assignment.  I already have more than enough on my plate!

Let's add to that the MC activities that, apparently, I am supposed to be spearheading.  Color me shocked!  One of the activities I anticipated I will be spearheading since this was something we were discussing as early as September, but other than that ... how did I get to be the person in charge?  Napag-utusan lang ako to relay instructions from Sir Dodi and all of a sudden I am in charge?  I was promised support but not really getting any ... yet.  It is as if everyone is waiting for someone to tell them what to do but besides a handful, no one else is asking what they CAN do or volunteering to do something specific.

Ok, fine.  Someone has to do it, right?  And if no one else will step up then I will do what I can but my abilities are limited, given my current work load/responsibilities.  I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I have 3 jobs, so you can imagine just how buried I am in work.  As it is, when I enrolled for a full Saturday schedule, I had not anticipated that I would have work on a Saturday that would affect 2 of my 3 subjects.  Thankfully, I was able to speak with my professors and was able to arrange alternatives.  For my Statistics class I will be attending the Sunday classes.  For my Seminar class I will present my report as soon as possible.

In the election of officers for the MC Society last August I was very surprised that I was elected (in any position) given that I was not present.  The constitution specifically stated that a person cannot be nominated nor elected in absentia.  In any case, I got elected Secretary and I have been doing everything I could to fulfill my role as Secretary.  The tasks set for me are specific.  Documentation, announcements, minutes, writing letters.  Other than that, duties expand given our roles in the various committees.  I feel at times, though, that I am (by accident or by design) doing things above and beyond my responsibilities and I fear that I am usurping the roles of other officers.  I keep trying to avoid them but they keep coming back to me.  So maybe in a way it is a good thing I can't be in school all day anymore.  Maybe it is a good thing I am not so available because of work.

I will continue to do what I can virtually and be present at MC or required school events whenever possible but that's it for me.

I don't like feeling so negative and right now all the negatives are pointing to school.  Thankfully the semester is halfway through and in a little over a month new officers will be elected and I will be released from my feelings of obligation.

I need to get back into the positive frame of mind. I WILL get back to being positive.  It's the only way to get through life without having a nervous breakdown again.  At the moment, I feel really close to having another one. 

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