Dear John

Some friends and I were just discussing the movie Dear John that stars Channing Tatum (one of my uber-crushes!), star of Step Up and Amanda Seyfried, best known for her role in Mamma Mia!  We started discussing when was the last time we wrote a Dear John letter and I realized that in my life I have only ever written one, and this was when I was around 15 or 16 years old.  I found out that my boyfriend at the time who was supposedly in another province was actually in town and seeing someone else.  I cannot say that I was devastated about it (I think at that age I wasn't really too emotionally attached to him yet) but I was certainly angered by the news.  I recall that in the letter I said something like, "if you have the time and energy to see other girls besides me then I will release you so that you could have even more time and energy for them ..." or words to that effect.

Despite that "break up" he and I are good friends to this day.  It wasn't until many years later, actually, that he and I were able to fully discuss what happened in our relationship those many years ago.  In between, though, we had kept in touch and were friends.

Now, I'd like to write another Dear John letter, but this time it isn't a letter saying goodbye.  This Dear John letter is a declaration of love and affection.    Yeah, there is a romantic in me, hehehe.  Why am I writing it?  The truth?  I'm supposed to be working on a project bid and a paper for school and I have writer's block so I thought I'd write some fluff to get my creative juices flowing.  Tee hee

Itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang John. (Only 'cause that's how I started this piece ...)

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Dear John,

What is it about you that has changed me so?  I think of you and I can't help but smile.  In a world of black, white, and gray, with you I see colors!  When I am with you everything seems to be brighter and sparkles.  You are never far from my thoughts.  I close my eyes and you are there.  My dreams are often filled with thoughts of you.  Memories of dinners together, walks, chats ... all the happy memories.
When I'm with you I can't help but smile all the time. Just the thought of you makes me smile.

When I'm with you I feel like no problem is too tough to solve.  You always tell me that you believe I can do anything I set my mind to.

When I'm with you I feel beautiful and sexy.  It is as if you are blind to my physical flaws.

When I'm with you I feel wanted and desired.  You look at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world.

When I'm with you I feel loved.

Whenever I feel neglected (which, as you know, happens every now and then.  I'm needy that way, hehe.) I try to remember the reasons why we cannot be together in one form or another and sometimes, that works.  When it doesn't ... I just try to put it at the back of my mind and concentrate on work.  After all, the world won't stop spinning just because I'm feeling needy, fat, and ugly.

I wish we could be together but I've learned to accept the situation for what it is.  Who knows, maybe someday soon we will have our chance at happiness.  For now, we have this, and I will make the most of it and make sure you never forget that you are loved, too.

And so, I leave you with three words, eight letters ... I love you!

With all my heart,

Jane